Everything they could have dreamed
by HockeyMiss23
Summary: RELOAD: Each night the same nightmare came, and each night she woke up in cold sweat wondering if Sam was still alive. She needed him more than ever. -McSwarek future fic. Now a two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Tight black skinny jeans, cute loose dressed blue shirt, brown leather jacket and her signature converse shoes, was the reflection Andy got in her mirror back in her room. The girls had tried hard to put some heels on her but she refused. Even all their sexy arguments didn't worked. Tired of it, she threatened her friends to stay home instead of going with them. The girls choose their battle, better the bar than a pair of shoes. Andy was surprised that to won pretty quickly this argument but pushed away the thought. She would have been really happy staying home. Knowing them, the probability of being hangover first time at parade was way higher than being on time. And she hated being late.

Since Sam had gone undercover she had been late a lot for parade. He wasn't even here to distract her but she found a way to be late somehow. But she would rather have him distracting her so that would have meant that he was safe. Here, with her. So, before she crawled in the spiral of depression the girls and her made a pact: one girl's night per week minimum. Most of the time it result in drinking their lives away and trying to make Officer Andy McNally forget for a little time Detective Sam Swarek. Deep down they all knew it wasn't going to happen but they still tried to cheer her up. Sam made it pretty clear that while he was gone Tracy and Gail had to take care of her.

Andy couldn't lie it was getting harder to forget that he wasn't here with her. The lack of sleep was slowly getting at her; people could see it from the bag under her eyes, and her pale skin. She wasn't quite happy as normal and her friend were able to see it. Was he alive? Would he come home soon? Each night the same nightmare came, and each night she woke up in cold sweet wondering if Sam was still alive. Everyday that goes but her heart was breaking a little more. She just hoped he would come home soon in one piece.

A voice cracked from the other room breaking her thoughts. " Come on, are you coming or what?"

"Coming" she rolled her eyes, Gail wasn't the patient kind for sure, but Andy was happy to have her as a friend now. They had made peace two years ago and their friendship just grown for the better. The blonde was now happy with Holly and their daughter Sophia. Everybody was shocked when Gail announced Sophia's adoption but Andy knew better, she knew that under her big ice queen facade, Gail was all soft and she wasn't worried about her. Gail was a heck of a daddy, as she called herself. Stepping in the living room of her home, Andy heard some whistle and turned on herself.

"Want to bring some boy home tonight Andy? You have some fine ass girl!" said Tracy as she clapped Andy's butt, who wasn't really impressed by her friend's behavior. They all known that only one man would ever pass the threshold of this house and as much as they knew, it wouldn't happen tonight. Tracy linked her arms with her and leaded them to the door, Gail following.

The three girls hopped in Chloe's car who was ready for a night without the baby. Lost in her thoughts, clearly thinking about Sam again as Gail had pointed out earlier in the ride, Andy didn't acknowledge the fact that they had reached their destination. Looking back and forth between the _Black Penny_ neon's sign and the girls, she quirked an eyebrow. It wasn't a new bar like they had say, she new this place too well and promised herself that the next time she would go will be at Sam's return.

" You're fucking kidding me right? No way in hell that I'm going! " she said pointing at her friends.

" Haww come on Andy! It will be so much fun, and beside it's been ages since you hang out with us at the _Penny_. People are starting to talk, and…" started to say Chloe.

"Don't care" said Andy as she crossed her arms around her chest.

"AND we really miss you here, everybody is here. Come on, it will be fun!" cheered Chloe losing her smile pretty fast as the death glare Andy was sending her.

"He won't be" Andy sighed.

"He won't, but he wouldn't want to see you like this", Tracy pointed the obvious. Sam wouldn't like to see Andy like this but it still didn't feel right to go at the _Penny_ without him anymore.

The _Black Penny _neon sign was taunting her as she sighed and came out of the car. Tracy squeezed her arm a little, knowing it was difficult but Andy had to face the reality someday and now was the time.

They were here to have fun and that was exactly what she was about to do. She has to admit that she missed hanging out with her friends at the _Penny_, even if she was working with them most of the time. Like the four musketeers they entered the bar ready for the night.

The place was very crowded for a Monday night. When they entered the _Penny_, the first thing Andy heard was cheering. People were happy to see her. "Nice to great us with your presence McNally" came from Oliver who hugged her at the same time. She gave him a small smile, she didn't have to say it, Oliver knew more than anyone else that the _Penny_ wasn't the same without Sam. He squeezed her hand and led her to their table where Chris, Dov and Nick already were. Things got easier with Nick after he found Juliet and now at Andy's surprise he was good friend with Sam. It seemed that everything was falling into places until Sam got undercover again. She took place next to him and eyed the drink in front of her. Nick smiled and said that it was okay if she wanted to drink it.

A lot had happened since Oliver became a white shirt but his habit to come to the _Penny_ didn't. He knew that Sam's absence was taking a toll on Fifteen division members and a lot more on Andy McNally. Hopefully, he would come back soon and everything will return to normal. When his friend told him he was going UC, he frankly wanted to kill him with his own hands. The guy was an idiot but when Sam explained the main reason behind it, he understood. Oliver would have do the same thing. Even after all his friends had been trough, he understood why he was taking this risk. Understood the fact that he wanted to put behind the bars the man who made his life's hell two years ago.

Oliver looked at Andy who was now in a deep conversation with Chris and remembered how the road had been hard for her since then. Marlo's sonogram that turns out to be Chloe's sonogram, the death of Tommy McNally but nothing could compare to the night of her attack.

He remembered the panic in Sam voice when he had called him from the hospital. The night was awful, and he wondered why on earth Sam and Andy couldn't catch a break. Andy had been practically beaten up to death by the only guy Nick and her didn't catch in Dakota. The guy was seeking revenge found Andy and make her pay. She did pay a lot more that everyone thought.

Gail and Andy were laughing now and he smiled at this image. The two girls had pretty much grown closer since the night Gail had found Andy all bloody in a dark alley. This friendship helped Andy in a way Sam couldn't even if he had tried so hard to do so.

Taking a sip, Oliver remembered how he found Sam crying outside Andy's room after her surgery. He reached his friend and didn't say anything. Sam didn't cry very often if never. Andy was going to be alright, so why was he crying? After a moment of silence, Sam fixed his eyes on a empty spot never looking at Oliver. "She lost the baby Oli…" was the only thing Sam had say the entire night. Oliver didn't need to say more. Nothing would ever have been enough, and right now he wasn't sure the day would come when it would be.

So seeing Andy in good shape, a real smile on her made him relieved, even if Sam had gone under. The rehabilitation of Andy took a really long time and it was a blessing that she was still here with them. Andy caught a glimpse of Oliver and saw the look he gave her. She knew he was thinking about the last couple of years. When her father died, he was there. He nearly took the paternal figure in her life and she was thankful for it. And when it was Sam's turn to leaver her, even if it was temporary, Oliver made sure to check on her every single day. Sam and her were blessed to have a friend like him.

She nudged her elbow in his side, getting a laugh of him. He knew he had zone out a little. He looked at her as his face turned serious. "He's an idiot". He didn't have to say it she knew he was talking about Sam.

"Yup, idiot he is. I didn't even have the time to tell him…what if…" sadness and panic washed over her as she thought about what could happen.

" Don't go there." Oliver gave her a stern look. "He will came back faster than you know",

Believing every word he said to Andy, Oliver chuckled to himself at the thought of it. Sam will have a pretty big surprise when he will get back. Andy put her head on Oliver's shoulder hoping what he said would be true soon enough.

The first time Sam told her about his undercover op she slapped him. For a moment she thought that she wasn't worth it, that he didn't love her enough. He didn't react and just stood here. He didn't bulged when she pushed him and took her wrists to stop her. Enveloping her in his strong arms never letting go. One week after, she comes to her senses and knew she couldn't do anything about it, but when he told her that he was leaving the next night, she lost it. He tried to calm her and instead she slapped him on the cheek again, but this time she saw the hurt in Sam's eyes. Sam left her alone in their room.

Reality kicked in about an hour later and she thought he had left without telling her goodbye. As she thought back, she knew it was childish because Sam wouldn't have left her without saying a word. Tracy was now kissing Steve Peck, and Andy's heart ached remembering the last time she had kissed Sam.

_She had found him in the kitchen looking at his glass. " I'm..." Andy was about to say something when Sam cut her off. _

" _Don't say you're sorry, you're not." He stated as he looked at her for the first time since she got in the kitchen. _

" _No I'm not. How could you do this? " her voice was full of anger. _

" _Are we talking about the fact that I have to leave tonight or the fact that I'm doing the op?" he asked because there was a big difference between the two and he knew that Andy knew it too._

"_Both" she shrugged._

" _You have to choose McNally" she knew Sam was mad with the tone he used._

" _Both are related. How could you?" she sighed she was tired of fighting. It wasn't the first fight they had since she knew he was going undercover._

"_How? Do you remember how close you were from dying Andy this night? Do you remember how it took you months to recover from it? If you can't I damn can!" he practically scream the last part. When he got that call, he thought he had lost her again. He couldn't bare the thought of losing her, not then, not ever. " Gees Andy, it took barely five months before you could walk again…" he swallowed hard at the thought of it. _

" _I…Sam… I get it okay? It's just…" she didn't know how to explain the feeling she had. They were close but the distance between them frightened her._

" _Andy" he sighed as he took her hand in his rubbing her skin with his thumb." I thought that you, of all the people, would understand why I took this op" he said as he runs his other hand in his hair. _

" _I know Sam, I know why you're doing it…but this guy is dangerous…and" she paused a minute collecting herself together. "I don't want him to take you away like he did with our baby!" she admitted with tears falling down on her cheeks. He took her face in his hands and kissed her wanting to take away the pain._

Sam hated the fact that this bastard took their baby away and that she had to go trough hell, Andy could see it in his eyes. She wished that nothing of this had happen that Sam could stop blaming himself. That they would be a family know if she didn't lost the baby. And before he could say something else she asked him to promise her something. She asked him to come back home and he has made the promise. Saying that he would always come back, but four months since he had left and she was starting to lose hope. Better. As a cop she knew better, undercover operation could take weeks, months or even years but here she hoped it wouldn't take years, she needed him right now, not in two years.

She needed some fresh air, as she got up Nick asked her if she was okay. " I'm fine, I just need to take some air. Need a drink when I return?" she asked. "If you're paying I'm all in. OW!" Juliet had smacked him on the chest and Andy rolled her eyes. They were perfect together and knew that they would make great parents as her eyes dropped on Juliet's big belly. Parents. Something she may never experience with Sam.

Outside, she let herself breath and observing people. It was like her life was on pause until Sam's return. Smiling at herself, she laughed a little. Far away were the years when she told Tracy that she didn't need a man in her life to be happy. That was until Sam Swarek stole her heart and never gave it back. Not that she was complaining, because Sam Swarek was the best thing she could have ever dream.

Fifteen minutes later, she came back inside and ordered four bottle of beer, one for Nick, one for Oliver, One for Gail, and one for Steve. Chloe was driving and Tracy couldn't drink since she was pregnant and her she didn't need another drink, not like she drank a lot in the last months. Something to do with Sam again. Everything in her life has something to do with Sam somehow. She smiled at the thought. Before she could make it back to the table, she bumped into someone and the four bottles had gone to waste on the floor. "Shit" she mumbled to herself when a firm grip on her wrist and waist steady her before she could fall and hurt herself on the shattered glass. "It's not pretty to curse for a lady", a voice said.

She stopped dead in her tracks as her head go up and her eyes reach his. His eyes were dark and his dimples in full motion. "Sam" she let out in a breath she didn't know she was holding, closing her eyes and opening them again just to be sure it wasn't a dream. "I'm right here McNally" he assured her with a smile and a squeeze on her arm.

Their friends were starring at them, like everyone was in the _Penny_. The show was about to get more interesting. Everybody at fifteen knew that Sam had come back home and had been tell to shut the fuck up if they wanted to be alive next morning. Sam wanted to surprise her, but little did he know that he was the one who was about to be surprise.

Andy started to feeling dizzy as relief washed over herself and closed her eyes again trying to collect herself together. She wasn't about to faint in front of Sam. He felt her tangle a little and got worried, his smile fading a little. She was pale, he knew she didn't slept well without him anymore but he knew it had to be something else. "You okay?" he asked her trying to gage her reaction.

She didn't trust her voice and pull her body close to him. She missed him so much and knew that tears were running down her face but she didn't care. Sam was here and it was all that matters. As he put her body closer to him Andy felt Sam tensed. Biting her bottom lip she wondered how he would react to her new curves. Four months what a lot of time and she didn't have a chance to tell him at all before he left. Sam eyes where questioning her. And then it hit him. His smile grown bigger and his cheeks were about to crack.

"You're…" he wasn't able to word it yet. Sam needed her confirmation. Since her attack they didn't talked about getting pregnant again. The pressure would have been too much. Biting her bottom lip she simply nodded unsure of what to do next.

Sam took a step back as she frowned. What was he thinking? Was he angry that everyone knew but him? Did he really want to have a child after all that happened between them? But then he surprised her bended a knee and putted both hands on her stomach. As he kissed her belly she laughed. Their friends were relieved. It had been a while since they heard Andy McNally laugh that way and yeah they were sort of scared about Sam's reaction, but knew that in the end both of them would be okay.

He was euphoric. She could see it. Sam stood up again and kissed her with passion. "Gees get a room you two!" yelled Gail as the others clapped their hands and whistle.

Andy snapped back in the reality blushed and hided her face in Sam's embrace as he caressed her back. " So, it's in your habits to hide your pregnancy from your husband?" he said smiling at her. "Only when he goes undercover", she answered a twinkle in her eyes while she granted him with a beautiful smile. Sam laughed and kissed her forehead. If undercover means more babies with Andy, he will do it again in a fraction of seconds. But deep down he knew that he wouldn't go undercover again and it was fine with him. They were everything that they could dream of.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hi guys! First of all, thanks for all the greats comments! You guys are awesome! This story was supposed to be a one shot, but I'm currently watching Rookie Blue again and got an idea with Oli's quote : You don't grow, you die. So I thought why not give you a super new year's present? :-) Hope you enjoy this and sorry for the grammar mistakes, french's my first language and I think the worst in my english is verb's tense. You can correct me, I'm still learning ;)**

**Oh, and remember, you're never alone. Even if it's new year and you pass in 2015 "alone" you're not. Do something you love, even if it's just watching a movie, or writing. If you're feeling alone? Feel free to write to me, we're gonna be to awesome loner talking. :)**

**I don't own Rookie Blue.**

**P.S Sam Swarek Point of view.**

The bright morning sun was shining on him while he sat on a bench, sunglasses on his nose, a leather jacket on his shoulder and, well his signature jeans, simply looking ahead of him. Sam Swarek was used to wake up early, even if he didn't always loved it, now he enjoyed waking up early and just stare at his beautiful wife. Not that he never did that in the past, but for the first time in their life they were able to breathe and just enjoy life. That was…new, terribly new for him. Somehow terrifying and exciting at the same time.

Eight years ago, a beautiful bambi brunette with doe eyes took him down on her first day as a rookie. She swept him off his feet that day and he never really regained his equilibrium since. Eight years and she still was challenging him like nobody as ever done. The minute she entered his life, he knew he was up for something big. He recalls Oliver saying _" Woah, Sam Swarek beens caught off guards by a rookie. Seems pretty special to me."_ And he was right. Andy McNally was pretty and special. Never in 100 years he would have thought that him, Sam Swarek, the little boy who slept in a tool shed, who's father was in jail and has an estranged sister, would have a life like he had now.

What a rocky road he had been on. Patient. Patience wasn't really a word he was used too. Always bending the rules when he could, he tried to respect them for her sake. He tried to be patient when she disregards their almost kiss back in Penny's parking lot. Knowing that she made a lot of noise when she arrested him. For McNally's name sake, for her sake, he understood the situation even if the attraction between them was unbelievable. Nothing like he was quite used to feel. Sam Swarek falling in love? No way in hell. He laughed a little remembering that. He didn't deserve her love, or love at all, and somedays he was still thinking that, but she was there, remembering him that he deserved so much more than that, and that anyway he was stuck with her even if he did have some say. He became patient, too patient with the way Callahan treat McNally, but if she was happy, who was he to say something?

His heart skipped a beat when she sat next to him, always did that when she was near him. His arm didn't take long to envelope her shoulder. " What are you thinking about, Detective?" Andy, his wife of three years asked. " You." He answered simply. Because, yeah, he was thinking about her 24/7. That made him laugh again, If Jerry was still here, he would have laughed at the image in front of him. Sam Swarek madly in love, a family man, thinking about his wife every second. Man he missed Jerry. Four years since his best friend had died. Four years than Sam Swarek made a stupid move and practically throw his own life by the window. She was able to feel all emotions change in Sam now, and he knew it. The second he stopped his eyes on her, he could saw the questions in it, clearly knowing that he was thinking about Jerry. Andy kissed him hard, bringing a little smile on his lips.

If life was different, Jerry would have marry Nash, and they would have had a lot of Braber's babies. But reality was different, Jerry wasn't there anymore, and Nash had a beautiful baby girl with Steve Peck, Gail's brother. And yeah, Sam was happy for them. Really. When Peck ask Nash to marry him, Tracie came to him at his own surprise.

_Tracie was nervous, terribly nervous and he could see it. She closed their office's door and sat in front of him. He left what he was doing and crossed his arms. Not sure about what all of this was about. Afraid that it was something about Andy who just begun to work again, and was exhausted to walk her way aroung with crutches._

_" Sam…you know…" Tracie begun._

_"Spill it Nash, what did Andy do this time?" sure she was afraid that he could get mad at his wife, again. It happened often since her return to work. He was now a patient man, but Andy was really good at crossing lines sometimes._

_"Not about Andy." Tracie told him. He arched an hair brows, not sure about what to say next._

_"So what's the matter?"_

_"Okay… here's the thing. You know how much a respect you and all, and that I know that Jerry was important to you. Still is, and he was important to me, and still is, but..things change… and…" Tracie was rambling and Sam stopped it._

_"Where are you going with that Nash?" not that he didn't want to talk about Jerry, but hearing his name still hurt._

_" Peck asked me to marry him. And I would understand if you're not confortable with that."_

_Sam just laughed, who was he to stop her to marry the man she was now in love? Marry another man wouldn't make her forget Jerry. Yeah, he would have love her to be Jerry's wife, she was perfect for his late friend, but he wasn't there anymore. And then, Sam made something Tracie wouldn't have thought possible, he got up, take her in a hug and said: " Jerry would be happy to see you happy. Steve Peck is a good guy."_

_"You're sure? Because I totally..." asked Nash, completely caught off guard from Sam's behavior._

_"Nash?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"It's okay. Be happy. You deserved it." Sam saw a smile he didn't saw in a while on Nash's face and when he turned to look by the windows he saw Andy, at her desk smiling, and he knew that Nash would be okay, that Andy and he would be okay too. _

Nash and Peck been married a little over one year now and got a beautiful baby girl, his niece. Sam was really happy for them and Leo was an excellent big brother. And he wonder sometimes if everything would have been different if Jerry was still here, but torturing himself over that wouldn't change a thing at all. He understood that a while ago. He understood he couldn't have control on everything. He couldn't control who could get hurt, he couldn't control fate, neither the past. He could control only his action, and sometimes his actions were stupid. But now he had Andy to call him on it. Not that he appreciated it every time.

Looking back, he could see how she changed his life in more than one way. How he would have beat Luke's ass more early if she haven't been there. How, although he hated the guy Sam will always be thankful that he saved Andy's life when he, Sam Swarek, was a stubborn ass. A life without McNally would have been an awful life, and he's not sure he would still be alive himself if she wasn't there. Yup, Sam Swarek badass cop's life now turned around a woman named Andy McNally. Who could have thought of that apart Oliver? Oliver, what a good friend he was. A pain in the ass sometimes but a truly good friend. First McSwarek fan as he called himself, even if Sam was about to break a lot more rules than usually. And man did they break rules more than one time. Still does sometimes.

Their timing was a little off. After her break-up with Luke, he waited for her to be ready, and she was…when he left for undercover. Way to go dude! He remember Jerry telling him _"Don't break the rules for a woman. Even if I really like McNally, keep it in your pants a little longer"_ the first week he was back at Fifteen division. And what did they do? Breaking a major rule by sleeping together while he was undercover. Even if he passed really close to dying that time, he wouldn't change a thing. That was messy, but that was them. Sam and Andy were messy, and he loved everything about that. He was freaking out not knowing if she were okay, trying to stay alive just to see her again. They tried to be normal after that, but she left for Tegami. God he was mad. For the first time in his life he was putting a woman over everything else and she just left. After all this time, he knew now that it was her way of dealing with things, the only way she knew then: running.

The road didn't get any easier when she came back. They date, fooled around and got into something to fast without really opening up to each other. But when he first heard her saying _I love you Sam, _ in the weirdest way she could have done it, his heart stopped. Not really used to feelings, and not really sure he deserved a woman like her in his life. Pretty sure she deserved so much more than him at the time. Still think that sometimes. And then came Jerry's death. Sam still haven't completely accept his friend's death. His absence will be a burden his entire life. Jerry absence at Frank's wedding, at Olivia birth, at his own wedding. Jerry's absence in everyone life. Sam reacted the only way he knew how. He pushed Andy out. Out of his head, out of his heart, out of his life. Thinking that she was better like that, that it was the only way to protect her. He told her he couldn't be a cop and be with her. But now, he knew it was more about the fact that he didn't do well with feelings and tried to get his worries away...like that really happened. He was fooling himself. He came to the realization that he couldn't stop her from doing her job. It was his job to protect her when he could, on things he could control.

So he break every promesses he made her and broke up with her in the most cliché and pathetic way. And then he found the courage to tell her he loved her when she was holding a bomb. Talk about a mess. A mess he had been responsible for. Even today, he's not totally over it.

For the first time in his life, he let himself be vulnerable. McNally is doing that to him. She made him lose control and he hated it, he hated loosing control of his emotions. The only thing he can really control in his life. At the time, she did what she did best. Run. Running in the most dangerous op Fifteen division have known in the last 3 years. Dakota. He broke her heart and she got back to him. He has never imagined in his life feeling like someone could rip his heart. Isn't really remember if he was more mad about the fact that he told her his true feelings and she left, that she was going with Collins or if it was Luke leading the thing. But deep down, he knew why he was mad, because her leaving was his own fault. And while nothing could get worst, he started dating Marlo, a couple of weeks before Andy's return.

He could feel the hurt in Andy's eyes when she saw them kiss in the kitchen. Marlo wasn't Andy. He thought that he need someone who didn't need him to open up. It was easy because she wasn't Andy and he didn't have to be vulnerable. He cared for Marlo, really cared, but he knew that people would be hurt in the end. And he was right when he said to Andy that if she didn't know him, he didn't know who could. Andy was the only one to know him. The only one who was able to get under his skin. And he hurt her in the process, asking her to cover up Marlo. Everything exploded after that. Marlo's bipolar condition she kept for herself, Kevin Ford who practically taking his life because, as Andy said _" he was traying to be an hero_".

In fact, he was more trying to get Andy her happiness. When he saw Ford pointing his gun at Collins, he only think of Andy. Trying to get Ford to shoot him instead of Collins, forgotten that himself didn't wore a vest. And the minute after, lying on the floor he saw Andy's face, the most beautiful thing to see before you die. He still remembered what Andy said to him in the ambulance. He knew she was wondering sometimes if he remembered it, he did but he kept that to himself for a little why after that.

They didn't really catch their breath after that, even if they did take things slow this time. The return of Marlo, Andy meeting his dad in jail, evidence room's explosion. His heart really did stop at the simple thought of her dying, and there when you think McNally can't surprise you anymore, she got out without a scratch of it. A couple of sore muscles and that's it. His protecting habit did return after that and it didn't go very well.

_A month after the explosion, he was cooking, waiting for her return from work. He didn't work today to pass some test to renew his shooting skills and thought it would be a good idea to make a romantic diner with her. She entered the house like a hurricane. They moved together a week after the explosion, Andy no longer afraid of commitment. He was chopping some vegetables when she put her hand on the counter._

_"Okay enough Sam!"_

_"Enough what?" he asked while continue his task._

_" You know what. You know what I'm talking about." She said, anger in her eyes._

_"Nop" Sam stop what he was doing, pretty sure where this conversation was going._

_"Sam! I know that you requested Oliver to put me on desk for the next month. You can't do that!"_

_"Look…" he said as he tried to reach for her as she move away from him._

_"No! YOU listen to me. I know you get that whole I need to protect you no matter what mancave thing but I'M OKAY! See? I'm okay. I still can do my job in the streets. Do I need to remember you that you were the one who got shot less than a year ago?" It was a cheap shot and she knew it._

_"Do you nee me to remember you that you were the one in that explosion a month ago?" They still had some nightmares about that event. He wasn't sure if they would ever forget it._

_"I'm okay Sam" Yeah, she was okay, but that didn't change a thing for him._

_"You could have died in that explosion ANDY!" He was losing his temper and she knew it but she wouldn't back down. But her tone soften a little._

_"I know, and I could have die in the laundromat, or at Brennan's, or being Eddie or with Anton Hills. I could die any day, hit by a truck or shoot by a suspect. This comes with the job. I thought we covered that when we became us again that…" He didn't let her finish._

_"That me being detective and you being a cop would be easier. Yeah I know." He knew, but that doesn't change the way he felt about it._

_"So what changed?"_

_"Me… you… us?" She made a step towards him and took him in her arms._

_"Seriously Sam. It won't work if you're doing that." Each other wanted to make it work, but he knows that if he pushed her limits too often, he would get in big trouble._

_"McNally I can't bare the thought of you getting hurt, and I won't apologize for trying to protect you." Sam was honest and Andy knew that._

_"Then don't but don't stop me from doing my job." She was right, he couldn't do that, he tighten his hold on her and kissed her temple._

_"Okay. Won't happen again." She knew that he wouldn't say he was sorry, but from him it was enough. She loved him for the effort he made._

_"Call Oliver." The minute she told him that, she felt his body tense._

_"What? No." He didn't want to call Oliver and hear what he said till the beginning._

_"Call Oliver." She was serious and he knew it._

_"or what?_

_"Call Oliver or I'm going to my dad's." she told him before leaving the kitchen._

And he made the call, he didn't want to have another father to son talk from Tommy. He loved the guy but Andy's dad needs to stay out of their love life. Oliver laughed his ear off "_ I warned you Sam, that she would make the link. You're so burned." _Sam actually did heard about it from Shaw for two weeks, Andy smiling at this little revenge. Still, the same night, he asked Andy to marry him. He asked her to go for a walk, and they walked to where it all begun. The alley where she took him down.

_"Where are we going Sam?" Andy asked, hand in hand with him._

_"Nowhere. We're walking sweetheart" he answered, kinda nervous._

_"Okay Sam, spill it, what's going on?" he finally stop walking after two minutes of silence._

_"Andy…" Sam begun._

_"Wait! are we at THE alley? The alley where I took you down?" Andy asked, and Sam couldn't hold his laugh._

_"Yup, the same alley where you wasted eight months of undercover works. Now, can I finish?"_

_"You will never let me live that one down right? You're creeping me out Sam. One minute we're yelling at each other and now we're taking romantics walks? If it's your revenge, it's not fun at all." She said a little smile in her eyes. Sam was creeping her out, but she knew she was safe with him and that he had an idea._

_"I'm pretty sure you were the one yelling at me tonight McNally." He explain to her._

_"What? No."_

_"Okay, okay McNally, before you go any further, let me finish and we will finish this argument after okay?" he plead with her, really trying to tell her what he needed to tell her._

_"We're not having an…" she began to say before Sam cut her again._

_"Andy, seriously" he couldn't believe it. She was overthinking it and wasn't about to stop if he didn't interfere, he knew it. She was unbelievable._

_"Okay, Zip, my lips are close." Andy finally said a twinkle in her eyes._

_Sam took a couple of second to look at Andy, she was so beautiful in the moonlight, he put his hand on her cheek, and the other one on her hips and closed the distance between their body. He had a hard time to concentrate and the heat between their body was heating up. Sam closed his eyes a second and opened them with a huge smile on his lips._

_" Most of the time, if not always... I'm afraid to lose you. Afraid that you will wake up someday and see that you deserved so much better than me…"_

_"Sam…" Andy saw in his eyes that she shouldn't cut him while he was opening more to her than ever._

_"Jerry once told me that I need a woman who could give me a run for my money. And I laughed to his face when he told me that…but he was right. And you woman are giving me a run for my money til day one. Always challenging me, giving me grey hair when she puts herself in dangerous situation" Andy was about to say something but the look Sam gave her stopped her again. " I never saw a danger magnet like you Andy. Never. But you're keeping me on my toes. And I kinda like that." Sam took a pause and smile again at Andy. "I never felt so love or more know by someone before you came into my life. "_

_As realization caught Andy, she had tears in her eyes._

_"You remember" she finally succeed to say as Sam swept away a tears from her cheek never leaving her eyes. The tension was phenomenal and she thought she was about to have a heart attack. He remembered everything she said in the ambulance._

_"You're my story Andy McNally. You. So...do you want to know the end of it with me?"_

_"Are you asking me to marry you?" She was speechless but need to hear the real words. It was so uncommon from Sam to put all his heart out like this._

_"No McNally, I'm trying to get into your pants…what do you think?" he asked her dimples out and rolling his eyes. _

_" Sam…YES! I want to be your wife!" she yelled as she kissed him hard with passion and love._

He still couldn't believe that he talk about getting into her pants while asking her to marry him. Andy was still using it from time to time when he was complimenting her. _"Are you trying to get into my pants M. Swarek?_" and his answer was always the same _"What do you think Mrs. Swarek."_

They hit a bump in the road a couple of days later, when Epstein said he found a sonogram on Marlo's desk, sonogram who turns to be Chloe's. What a relief it was for Sam. The only woman he wanted children with was Andy. She confessed a little while after that even if she had said she would have been okay with the kid in their life, she had really hope he wasn't the father, cherishing the dream to be the one to have Sam Swarek's kid. That night, he asked himself if it was possible to be more in love with someone than he was with Andy.

They got hitched in July the same year. He made a Swarek of Andy, even if she would always be a McNally for him. She wore a beautiful white silk dress with a flower in her hair. The most beautiful bride he ever saw. His bride. Sam finally understood what Frank had told him before his wedding. You know she's the one when she made you better. And Andy McNally made Sam Swarek better day after day.

A couple of months later, when she told him she was pregnant, when they were on patrol looking for a guy of one of his case, he was over the moon. He park the car and take a moment recovering his breath, she put her hand on his leg and told him "_ We had the worst examples, so we know how to make it right Swarek. You and me, working together, that's what we do. Partner.!"_ Their smile never left their face for the entire day. They fought again about his need to put her behind a desk, and he finally left her patrol the street til the fourth month. But at one condition. Only with Nick, knowing he would have her back, since Epstein was a trouble magnet like Andy and Chris was still in probation since his return from rehab.

A single moment. A single asshole change all that. The only guy Collins and her didn't arrest in Dakota came back into their life. They knew the guy was on the run and they were making extra care to protect Andy. Oliver had put his order, _"Serve, protect and don't leave Andy and Nick alone_". And one night, after a week of no news of that asshole she wanted to walk to the Penny. He tried to persuade her to take the truck, or at least wait for him to give her a ride, or call a friend, but it was nice outside and she missed walking like she used to, she wanted to have the control of her life again and he could understand that. So Sam caved in, made sure he had kissed her and said I love you and told her to phone him when she would hit the Penny. "_ Chill out daddy, I will be okay. Love you Sam."_ She had told him with a smile before leaving.

His phone rang thirty minutes later. _"Sam, it's Andy, she's been hurt."_ Oliver's word pull his heart out of his chest. Sam took his key and was about to take off in his truck when Nick stopped him. " Gimme the keys Swarek" and in front of his hesitation Nick talked again. _"Swarek, give me the damn keys! If Andy ever hear that you took your truck in that state, I swear..."_ Sam gave them to him, no further explanation needed. Saying nothing all the ride, Collins got all his respect. Since his wedding to Andy, Sam relationship with Nick got better, but this simple gesture put it on another level. Thinking back about this moment, he still felt the distress he felt back then. This sick feeling taking over his stomach.

Sam waited 3 hours before getting any news on Andy. The three longest hours of his life. Andy McNally, the danger magnet, was lucky to be alive. She survived a list of injurys that common people wouldn't have survived. He got out of the room in an attempt to breath again. Never looking at Oliver, he said the worst words of his life " _She lost the baby, Oli."_ Never in his life he would have thought loving an unborn child so much.

Things didn't get easier after that. He saw his beautiful wife drown in depression unable to help her. That's when Gail Peck came in the picture. She was the one to find her and, even if he didn't really approved all her manners, he would always be thankful to her for bringing back his Andy to him. Andy's lion heart surprised Sam another time. The doctors said that she would need at least eight months before walking again, and she took 5 instead. He was feeling helpless and didn't like the feeling. But here she was walking again and wanting to patrol the streets. And eight months after her accident, she totally did that.

The first time that they have been intimate again, she was afraid he didn't love her anymore because of the scars and because she was unable to keep their baby safe. He kissed her and stopped when she told him that: _" this scar tells me that you're still alive, and this one tells me how you're a strong person, and every scars remembers me how lucky I am to have you in my life. How lucky you are to be alive. Sweetheart, you're so beautiful. I love you so much."_ Little did she now that he was afraid to hurt her. "_ Sam, I'm here, I'm okay. I won't break, make me feel whole again."_ That night, they made love like they had never made it together, gentle, learning about each other again.

They had a little rest from life and were learning to live this new life…until he heard about the UC from Blackstone and Callahan. Sam knew this UC could end his marriage, but he also knew that McNally would have done the same if she could. Callahan and Blackstone did warn him thought. But for the sake of Andy, who was still afraid to fall on the asshole again, Sam wanted to give Andy's life freedom again. So he took the UC. Telling her was awful. He understood her anger, but knew she was way too much stubborn about it. When she told him that she was afraid his life would've been taken like their baby's life, his heart broke into a million pieces. He promised her he was coming back. And he did.

When he got back, he saw a twinkle in Oliver eyes he couldn't put his finger on. _"She miss you buddy."_ Was all Oliver said to him. Sam told everyone to shut the fuck up about his return, wanting to surprise her.

When he saw her, she looked so beautiful, yet so different. God he missed his wife. Andy looked a little pale, but he knew she wasn't really sleeping well when he wasn't there. But when he stop her from falling to the ground after bumping her, and she thrown herself to him, his body tighten, not sure if it was a dream. Pregnant. His wife was four months pregnant. He saw that she was a little afraid about his reaction and just kissed her. He didn't talk about having kids with her. Sam didn't want to put pressure on it. He would have taken a life with Andy kids or no kids.

Sam still blamed himself for the four months he missed of her pregnancy but again, his wife told him the thing he needed to hear when they where lying in their bed. _" You know, you gave her the best gift you could have ever give her, right?_" Sam caressed Andy's swollen belly and kissed his wife. "_ You are the best gift life could have ever give me."_

Eight years after an eager rookie took him down, after all they've been throught, here was Sam Swarek, sat in a park on a Sunday shining morning with his beautiful and challenging wife, Andy McNally, and their gorgeous baby girl, Elizabeth Swarek.

As he decided to walk with Andy pushing the stroller, an arm around her hip, He can't believe how he got so lucky. The dream he had three years ago at Oliver's cabin had come true. Sam wanted kids, walk on Sunday in the park, something more in life, with her, and now, he had a life that he could have never dreamed of. A life full of joy, passion and love. A life the little boy he used to be never had.

Oliver's words was echoing in his head _" You don't grow, you die."_ And Sam Swarek did grow over those years. He became a better man with Andy's help. And changing, growing for him have been totally worth if, getting him a life he could never had dreamed of.


End file.
